Intensive Care Audio Vena Cava Filter

Intensive Care Audio Vena Cava Filter

What VENA CAVA FILTER is, and what is it used for:

The VENA CAVA FILTER is a distortion with an auto-filter and ring modulation used for the treatment of Bland Guitar Syndrome and Excessive Aural Dryness. Used regularly it can provide effective relief from these, and other music and instrumentation related conditions.

The VENA CAVA FILTER features 8 controls, there are therefore a range of available remedies.

WAVE FUNCTION: An 8 position rotary switch allows you to select 1 of 8 available LFO waveforms. From left to right these are; Random Slopes, Random Steps, Sweep, Sine, Triangle, Square, Ramp Down, Ramp Up. These waveforms are brought to you by the STOMPLFO courtesy of Electric Druid.

FREQ: Sets the frequency (speed) of the LFO. The Speed (and waveform) of the LFO is indicated by the LED underneath the WAVE FUNCTION control.

RING: Sets the base frequency of a ring modulator which is swept by the LFO along with the filter. Turning fully clockwise disengages the ring modulator. At settings below 12 o’clock the carrier frequency becomes inaudible and provides an interesting stuttering effect. Set correctly it can also create octave down and sample rate reduction effects which when swept by the LFO moves around with the wave shape set by WAVE FUNCTION.

VOLUME: Sets the overall output volume of the effect.

PEAK: Sets the width and intensity of the filter notch which is swept by the LFO. With the control set fully clockwise the notch is at its narrowest and most intense. Moving the control further anti-clockwise widens the notch and lessens its intensity.

BLEND: Sets the mix between distortion (fully anti-clockwise) and filtered and ring modulated distortion (fully anti-clockwise). Use in conjuction with the PEAK control to set intensity of the overall filter effect.

GAIN: Sets the gain of the distortion. It ranges from a mild overdrive to a heavy, fat distortion. At lower gain settings the filtering effect becomes less pronounced.

What you need to know before using the VENA CAVA FILTER:

Do not use:

-If you are allergic to unorthodox sounds-If you have high levels of normality in your blood

-If you have the habit of accidentally plugging in the wrong power supply (Use only high quality 9v centre negative power supplies)

-If you play with aggressive or temperamental drummers, just joking, there’s no other kind.

How to take the VENA CAVA FILTER:

The dose needed to treat guitar effect deficiency will depend on how low your levels of guitar effect are. Your doctor will advice you on the length of time to use the VENA CAVA FILTER. For adults this is usually 1-2 hours, twice a day. Using pedals after meals is recommended to avoid dizziness.

If you forget to use the VENA CAVA FILTER, use it as soon as possible and continue to use it as normal.DO NOT take a double dose to make up for a forgotten dose as this can cause irreversible MIND BENDING (Mindbendinitis)

Possible Side Effects:

Like all medicine, this medicine can cause side effects, although not everybody gets them.

Serious side effects:

-Involuntary time signature changes

-Nausea and or vomiting

-Anxiety

-Difficulty passing riffs

-Thinking you are better at your instrument than you actually are

-Looking down your nose at other peoples gear